Your evaluation is a load of crap... how's that for direct?

So I am direct... straight to the point. I don't waste time by saying flowery words to lighten the blow. I just say things. That's not to say that I am unthoughtful or say things without thinking. I am suscinct... concise.

Well, to get to the point, because I am direct, last year I changed jobs at the university and with that came a new boss. So, yesterday I had the first "Performance Evaluation" since my second year of employment here at the university. (Old boss quit doing these.) Well, it went pretty well, and I did have a lot of accalades on my evaluation... but I must say that it is hard to take constructive criticism from a guy who rarely sees you in action and doesn't even know what you do or how you've done what you do... or for that matter, any improvements that you have made behaviorly. For example, his comments consisted of:

Ben has shown good leadership skills. He is well organized, efficient and hard working. There has been marked improvement with his working relationship with students. (Of course... ya big dummy. I am no longer working two full time positions here at the university... but to avoid being direct, I didn't say that.) He is direct, to the point, and firm when dealing with students and others. This is an exellent quality in leadership. Sometimes people are not used to this and a different delivery would probably produce as good, if not better, results. Developing flexibility in delivery, recognizing other's styles, and being able to use different approaches to maximize potential are key aspects of leadership. To be sure, however, at times there is a definite need for a direct and firm approach and this ought to be recognized as good leadership, too.

At the risk of sounding ... oh... what's the word I'm looking for... Direct? What the heck did he just say there? This is what I got out of that: Being direct is a good leadership quality, but sometimes you have to be less direct... based on whether you are going to hurt someone's feelings... unless of course it is a time where you definately need to be direct.

I know this is going to sound direct... but um...yeah... THAT was a bunch of crap.

He goes on to state that: Ben is very straight forward and direct. (got that) Sometimes this straight forwardness and directness create interpersonal issues with others... and He has excellent ideas but sometimes, as mentioned, his direct manner is not received well by others. Ben makes good decisions and exercises good independent thinking. Sometimes, however, the presentation of his problem solving skills (his directness) is not received well by others.


Um... I take it you think I am direct?
Couple of thoughts.

1. Don't pretend you know somebody when you don't. I am direct; however, I do possess social skills and do understand when somebody is not receiving something well... especially in those times where one definately needs to be direct. I am not direct when I don't need to be.

2. If you think I am direct now... you should have seen me 10 years ago. I used to be over the top direct... like the time I went to the deli counter and I asked the old lady to shave my turkey so thin that I could see through it and so that it was falling apart. When she responded with a sarcastic, "That's what shaved means." I directly responded with a raised voice... "GREAT. THAT'S WHAT I WANT... DO IT THAT WAY THEN." Need-less-to-say, Sydney walked away from the counter because she was embarrassed. I also used to honk my horn a lot. I would say honking your horn is being direct... wouldn't you? Well, I don't honk my horn much anymore... I have toned it down a lot and become less direct. I don't believe that you ever "arrive." I believe that people are always a work in process, there will always be improvements that need to be made... Furthermore, you should be able to celebrate the progress that has been made in certain areas. Ever felt like you have been labled as something or "put in a box" and that no matter how much progress that has been made to improve in these areas that you will always be that preconceived person? Because you were that way 10 years ago, now, (in this case) when you have to be direct... it's not because you need to be, but it's because "you've always been direct."

I was frustrated by this whole conversation... But rather than be too direct... I just stated, "Yep, you're right... I will continue to work on my directness." But then... somehow I don't think he noticed that I was being less direct... because, you know... I will never NOT be direct. I wonder if smacking him upside the head would be "too direct?"

I'm done with this topic.