Friday, May 27, 2005

Shoot me now.

I am starting an online Managerial Accounting class this week so I can be done with my MBA once and for all. It is going to be a tough class... but it only lasts 6 weeks. I have to have 3 problems done before the class officially starts... (How does that work??)

If anyone has any insight into the following question let me know... I want to say yes... as long as she is receiving cash within the next year is is considered a current asset... and can be considered as revenue... anybody have any idea... If not... guess I will have to research it. (Dang.)

(b) Suppose Aunt Connie is getting ready to visit her banker seeking a loan to expand her business. She wants to demonstrate the strength of her business on her income statement. If she has firm orders for $100,000 worth of cookies for delivery in the next six months, can she show this as revenue on her income statement? Why or why not?

Anyway, I will be out of the office until next Wednesday... and I will not be in close proximity to a computer... SO... no blog entries. Have a good weekend all!

Thursday, May 26, 2005

There's good news and bad news...

Good News: The end of the world is here and gone and Sydney saved us...

Bad News: Michael Vaughn is not Michael Vaughn.

Are you KIDDING me??

Here's a little peek inside our living room last night...

MySydney: "What time is it?"
Ben: "It's 10:05, should we watch it?"
MySydney: "Of Course!"
Ben: "Okay"

A little later... well into the season finale:

*As they dismantle the brakes on a subway car in Russia*
Irena Derevko to Michael Vaughn: "Take my advice, if you love her... tell her the truth..."
Ben: *One eyebrow raised* "The Truth? What's the Truth?"
MySydney: "Shhhh... she didn't say!"
Ben: "Hmmmmmmmmmm" *One eyebrow still raised*

2 minutes before the end of the show...

*Sydney Bristow (Not MySydney) talking to Vaughn as they are driving*

Sydney: "Maybe we should get married on the beach..."
Vaughn: "Oh yeah, I can see your father on the beach with sand between his toes..."
Sydney: "What if we forget the big wedding and get married... just the two of us..."
Vaughn: "You mean elope?"
Sydney: "I would love that..."
Vaughn: "It's settled then... we'll elope."
Sydney: *Sigh* "Have I ever told you that I love you..."
Ben: "Tell her the truth Vaughn..."
Vaughn: "I love you too... that's why I have to tell you something..."
Ben: *Moves to the edge of his seat*
Sydney: "What is it Vaughn?"
Vaughn: "That day that you walked into the CIA... you were meant to meet with me..."
Sydney: *Starts to get concerned.* "Don't tell me your a BAD GUY..."
Vaughn: "Well it depends on who you think the bad guys are..."
Sydney: *Gets more concerned.* "Vaughn....?"
Vaughn: "Well for starters... My name isn't really Michael Vaughn..."
*Simultaneously from out of nowhere...*

CRASH! SMASH! *Airbags deploy, heads are jostled*

Ben: *Shouts* AAAHHHHHHHHHH! *A burst of adreniline flows through his body*

Screen.Goes.Bank.

Ben: "NO.WAY."
Ben: *Blinks and Stares*
*Long Pause*
Ben: "It can't end like that."
MySydney: "I didn't see THAT coming."...
Ben: "Are you kidding me? "

*Crawls into bed a few minutes later...*

Ben: "I can't fall asleep. I have too much adrenaline flowing through my body..."
MySydney: *Laughs*

This morning:

Ben: *Wakes his Sydney with a kiss as he is walking out the door...*
Ben: *Whispers to his Sydney* "My name isn't really Michael Vaughn..."
MySydney: *Smiles*

By far, without question, Alias is the best TV Series EVER. If you have not watched it... then stop.what.you.are doing. AND IMMEDIATELY... go quickly to your local video store and rent Season's 1 thru 3. (Eddie, I don't care if you are in Hawaii... If you are eating at "Pizza Bob's", then you can also watch Alias.) It will be the most fun you have ever had watching TV.

I promise. You will not be disappointed.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Drive-thru's are the bane of my existence...

I am a person who never has good luck at drive thru's... I always have to repeat myself about 3 or four times... at times, asking them to clear the slate and start over again. I usually end up muttering to myself that this is not "rocket science" or some comment like that... Today I hit the drive through prepared for yet another challenge. Keep in mind that this is 12:14 when I pulled into the drive thru lane... I am able to drive all the way to the intercom... When I placed my order I didn't have to repeat anything... I pulled up to the first window to pay... cashier swiped my card.... 5 seconds top... "Okay, please pull ahead." I get to the second window and the lady immediately opens the window and is handing my 3 piece Chicken Selects, Med. Fries and Med. Coke to me. The fries were piping hot... and the Chicken Selects were fresh from the deep fryer. 12:15 I was pulling out onto the street.

Amazing.

That, my friends, just might have been the fastest drive-thru exchange in the history of drive thru's. Maybe I have turned the corner and am no longer the subject of this cruel curse that has affected me for so long... Do you think this is possible? Did it move on to annoy some other, poor, unsuspecting soul. I can only hope.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Micker Mackers!

I remember when you were two...



I even remember when you were three...



Today you are FIVE.

Next thing you know you will be all grown up walking down the isle getting married to "some guy..." Can't you just stay five forever?? Please?

I love you "Micker Macker Ticker Tacker Jicker Jackers!"

Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday dear Micker Mackers...
Happy Birthday to you.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

FINALLY! Some one tagged me...

I'm IT! I'm IT! Oh yeah! I.am.cool.
(I know, you aren't supposed to want to be it... but it's kinda like wanting to be "Grey Duck" when you were a kid... it's no fun if you never get to be it... If you are never it or you are never "Grey Duck" then I mean, really, what's the point?)

lol.

Jes, from JustSayJes , tagged me... So I have to tell you 10 things that I have never done... Here goes:

I have never...

1. Burped on an Elevator
2. Eaten Sushi
3. Been poked in the eye by a friend.
4. Gone to a Green Bay Packers Game... even though I own 1 Share of Stock.
5. Had more than a sip of Dr. Pepper.
6. Gone Sky Diving
7. Caught a 20 pound northern pike.
8. Beat my wife.
9. Thought that my kids were not the coolest kids ever.
10. Broken a bone in my body.

NOW, Here is the twist:

Here are 10 things I HAVE done:

I have...

1. Gone Repelling off the side of a mountain.
2. Owned a baby blue scooter in college.
3. Dated identical twins... (at different times of course.)
4. Been knocked off of my bike by hitting a telephone pole with my head (in Kindergarten.)
5. Gotten caught steeling candy from the 5 and dime when I was in 1st Grade
6. Totaled my parents’ car when I was in 10th Grade.
7. Been Ice fishing and Spearing
8. Had an ingrown toe nail removed at the doctor’s office even though the pain killer wasn’t working.
9. Dreamed that I was being attacked by a bear.
10. Had my fingernail torn off when I was playing softball.



Tagged you back!

Jes, tell us 10 things you HAVE done... AND tag the person that tagged you, back... (Don't forget to say, "no tag backs!")


Um... oh yeah... "No Tagbacks!"

Monday, May 23, 2005

The definition of Pervert...

Some guy discovered our blog with the recent search: Naked Married Women...

Buddy... after doing an MSN search for Naked Married Women and landing on our site 3 times... I am taking it you are not finding what you are looking for? Go be desperate somewhere else.

Um... yes, I am talking to you.

(No not you... the perverted guy doing the search on Naked Marred Women.)

All of this because I used the line "dancing naked while eating cheetos..." and the words married and women... somewhere on my blog. Once again, it is all Eddie's fault.

If you buy it and fill it with birdseed... they will come...

At the risk of sounding "old", I am stating for the record that I like birds. Not grackles or barn swallows... but sparrows, finches, baltimore oreoles, wood peckers, blue birds ... and what not. (I also like Pheasants, Grouse, Geese and Ducks... but I like to shoot and eat them...) ANYWAY, A couple of weeks ago I went with Jake and Micker Mackers to purchase a couple of bird feeders for our backyard... of which, I hung one on a shepards hook right out side our bedroom window ... it looks exactly like this...




Well, the birds have finally discovered it and we have about 7 or 8 GoldFinches and a couple of ordinary house finches frequenting the local establishment. Which is pretty cool. Yesterday I looked out the window and we had 8 yellow finches on our birdfeeder all at the same time.... When you walk out into the backyard, you hear all these birds whistling because they are so happy... because they are well fed and life is good. Our backyard is literally a utopia for GoldFinches.

There is something satisfying about feeding the birds and having them stop by our window every now and then. Now if only the squirrels will find the boingy corn thing and the wood peckers will find the peanut feeder... then life will be really good.

But it's a start.
(Don't call me a "nerdy bird watcher" or I will have to smack you...)

Friday, May 20, 2005

Late night snack.

Quadruple Stuf Oreos. With milk. Mmmmmm. Good Stuf.

(I didn't realize until tonight that Oreo spells it as Double STUF... Has anybody else noticed this, or am I the first person in America to notice this?)

A little introspection is not a bad thing...

I had a sobering experience yesterday that has made me really think about some things. To set the background, we were planting the garden yesterday and the soil was pretty moist... so along with wet soil comes mud. Now, Jake ran up to the house to get some water and I went up there to get something after him... and as I got into the house there was Jake scrambling to take his shoes off inside the door. Mud was everywhere. The following conversation occurred.

Dad: Did you wear your shoes in the house?
Jake: Yeah, I forgot!
Dad: You better clean it up or mom is going to be UP-set.
Dad: Get the broom and start sweeping...
*Dad walks past the stairs*
Dad: Did you walk all the way up to your bedroom with your shoes on??
Jake: Yeah. Gosh! I am such a forgetter!
Dad: Make sure you sweep your room and the stairs. (We have hardwood floors.)

Jake's next comments are really what bothered me... as I am doing something in the living room and Jake is sweeping the floor, Jake says, "I am such a forgetter. I am SUCH a nobody right now."

Now I quickly responded: "Jake, that's not true... you're always somebody." But I can't help but think that there is something that we (I) have done to make my son think he is a nobody. Now, I am not looking for sympathy from my readers with this statement, I am just stating that I need to re-evaluate some of my actions so I know that I am making sure that Jake knows that he is a somebody. That he is special. I have stated before, that I am pretty rough on Jake. More so than the girls. For some reason, I treat him older than he actually is... and don't give him a chance to Just Be A Kid. I am working on it, but change happens slowly. I tend to yell too much. (I would call it raising my voice, but Sydney and the kids would tell you differently.) This morning I blew it. Jake was being goofy as he was getting ready for school and he prettended he was falling over on our bed and cracked his head on our headboard. I didn't give him the chance to cry... I said, "There you go... that's what you get for dinking around." Mr. Compassionate, I know. But then I raised my voice and said, " Go get your shoes on." No sympathy from me. Anyway, as he was putting his shoes on I went to him and told him, "I am sorry for yelling... I was wrong." Of course he forgave me... but kids are funny that way. Full of grace. Quick to forgive, quick to forget. However, this doesn't excuse my actions; I need to work on this so my son doesn't think that he is "such a nobody"... at anytime in his life.

In Jake's words, "I am such a nobody right now."
Of course I am being hard on myself... but like Jake tracking mud into the house... we all screw up. The "damage" he caused can be swept up. However, the damage caused by me when I yell can not be fixed quite so easily. It is imperative that I work on this. I am just hoping that the damage is not beyond repair. Wish I could flip a switch and have immediate change. But you know what they say... the sins of the father are the sins of the son... I need to break this chain.

(Sorry but I am making the request that no comments be left on this one... My web log is a place to write everything down... even my failures... I know I would get a lot of encouragement... or people saying that I am being too hard on myself... but sometimes it is good to be "too hard on yourself." A little introspection and reflection is good... especially if it invokes change.)

Thursday, May 19, 2005

"Write about the movie, will he..."

*said in my best attempt at a yoda voice*

Well, I went to Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith and it was, all in all, a pretty good experience. The night started out (as I was walking out the door for the movie) with a hug from Sydney as she said: "Have a good time, MY Star Wars man." Ahhhh... nothing better than a wife who understands the need to live on the edge and go to a late night movie every now and again. I got there at 10:15 and waited in line until about 11 o'clock when the doors opened. There weren't any strange men dressed up in storm trooper costumes and Chewi wasn't to be seen... so I was a little disappointed with rural america. *snap* After my buddies and I found a seat... I literally gorged myself on a medium size bag of popcorn before the movie started. Although my stomach hurt really bad... it was a great movie.




Full of endless action I was not disappointed. Probably one of my favorite in the cronicles so far. Of course I have provided for your entertainment another Yoda picture. Ever since I was a kid, yoda has been my favorite character. I believe that it is because he is such a small creature. And although I am not much taller than Yoda right now... (okay so maybe I am exaggerating my shortness...) "Strong is the force with him." He IS the coolest. ANYWAY... I think the best thing I liked about this movie is the subtle hints toward the end of the movie to move the series back to the old school format... old computers and red and white buttons... couple of shots of really bright, white hallways... ultimately, it was a great movie. On the Star Wars' Scale, I give it a 9.5 And I believe that everyone should see it at least once in their life to say they saw it. Me I will watch it many more times than that.

In short, it was a great experience and I would do it again tonight... if I had the chance.

So I got out of the movie at 2:30 am and I got home and in bed by 3 am. I took the day off so I could sleep in and Sydney, Jake, MickerMackers, Leah and I are going to go plant our garden this afternoon. Needless to say, I will be wielding that hoe like a light saber to day... (okay maybe not.) But the force will surely be with me. lol.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

I am going to a galaxy far far away... boy do I need it.



SO... Revenge of the Sith premieres tonight and guess who will be sitting in the movie theater tonight at Midnight?? That's right... ME. I have not done this before, so I am interested to see this cult-like following of Star Wars fanatics with their pretend light sabers and their Darth Vader Masks and what not... It should be almost surreal standing in line with all these... shall I say, freakish people. I am excited to say the least. It's always fun to see real life freaks. lol.

ZZZZZZSSHHK! ZZZZZshhkkk! Crack! ZZZZZZSHHK!

Think of me as I am ducking light sabers! I will let you know how it goes.

SIDE NOTE:
All this Star Wars talk has conjured up memories of my youth and speaking into a running fan saying: "LU-U-U-KE! I am your Father..."

I am trying to keep from going postal people... REALLY, I am trying.

Okay. Maybe it isn't THAT bad... but I am not happy. So I am going to make two posts today... this one, in which I tell you how pissed off I am, and then a much lighter one later... once I get this first one out of my system. Readers, have you ever felt like life really sucks? I am there. I am so ticked off about my work environment right now I can't see straight. This loser of a guy that we call the president of our university has made some decisions that I don't agree with... and now my office and department are stuck with a couple of offices and a lounge area that are not going to work.... A little background; our university's student center burned down about 3 years ago and this president was charged with building its replacement. The plans included moving our office over to the new facility because he wanted a lot of traffic in the student center. Because the International Students are always around... he decided that we should be over there. But because he also has deemed it necessary to have the Women's Studies Office over in the Student Center as well, there has been a space issue. Now my office is located underneath this umbrella of Cultural Diversity and they were getting displaced from their office because another decision our president and "king" has made. As a result, we just got booted out of this area that was going to work perfectly for us into this small cramped space that is not going to work. He has been told by all of the constituencies that it doesn't make sense, but because he cares more about "art" than people, he has decided to hold back one space for an art gallery (when we already have 3 galleries on campus) which has caused this domino effect. I don't even care about my office... It is the fact that we are going to now have a smaller lounge/office then what is needed for our students. I am so freakin pissed... it isn't even funny.

SO. My resolve is this: finish this accounting class and move on. I am that ticked off. My leaving the university will hurt them pretty badly, but at this point, I really don't care... I hate to say it, but that's not my problem. Not that I think I am indispensible... everyone is expendable. (The time you think you are not expendable is probably when you are the most expendable.) But the intricacies of my job take about a 6 month - 12 month training period to become knowledgeable enough to do the bare minium. Trust me, I was in that position about 7 years ago and it was not fun... and I am the only one at the university that knows all of the immigration policies that the international students must follow. Anyway, the point is, if I had another viable option, I would be gone today. Which leads me to my next question...

Anybody have a job for me? ;)

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Ever blogged for the sake of blogging?

Listen.... shhh.... do you hear that?? Yep. That's the sound of silence... the students are gone! And oh the joy I am experiencing at this moment. Quiet. Summers at a university are fantastic. I know we are "here for the students" but boy are the summers a welcome break. Unlike Katie of K-pinion my workload decreases dramatically when the summer rolls around. Currently I am surfing the web to furnish my new office in the new student center. I must find a couple of desks for both myself and a colleague of mine. Anybody have any hints on where to look? I have checked out Office Max... but I want to check out some other options as well. ANYWAY... boring post I know... but I can't think with the noise... the hum of the lights and the ventilation system are driving me crazy. ;) BUT I have to blog something... ever blogged for the sake of blogging? I am there people.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Whew... I was REALLY scared for a moment there.





You Are 60% Normal

(Really Normal)








Otherwise known as the normal amount of normal

You're like most people most of the time

But you've got those quirks that make you endearing

You're unique, yes... but not frighteningly so!


How Normal Are You?



Hmmmm...... *raises eyebrow*

I can feel you lurking... reading, looking at pictures... My statcounter shows it. I know your there. Yet... YOU.DON'T.COMMENT.

I need to surf more blogs so I am not disappointed quite as often... I am off to find more friends... so my following grows and my comments increase.

Someone, say hi?

Moving up the ladder of coolness.

Not only am I a part of the...
...
I am now one of the...

Weekend of Celebrations!

Wow... it truly was a great weekend. It started out with Sydney and me going out to dinner for a chance to celebrate and enjoy this together. Dinner was followed by a reception for the Master's graduates at the University on Friday night. A glass of wine and some super conversation. It was a great finish to the night. Then on Saturday morning we were up bright and early. The hooding ceremony for the Master's program was at 7:30 am. Then soon after was commencement. Now before moving on with the rest of the weekend ... I must share with you the highlight of commencement. Although this is a story where you probably had to be there to truly find the humor in it... I will share it with you anyway... Trust me when I tell you this was Hilarious.

The highlight of commencement centers around a recent graduate. Beaming with pride as he just finishes walking across the stage he heads back to sit down... lost in the moment,he makes a wrong turn... (There happened to be an couple empty rows of chairs between the faculty and the Master's Graduates and so he turns and heads down this empty row of seats right in front of us rather than the empty row he was supposed to turn down 13 rows back...) Three fourths of the way down the row... He realizes he has made a mistake; he PANICS. Like a prisoner caught in the beams of a spotlight... He.Freezes. Wide Eyed with fear, he frantically looks around... Not knowing what to do he immediately sits down in front of us... trying to blend in... Realizing that it's not working he starts to halfway stand up but then decides to sit back down on the edge of his seat as he desperately attempts to figure out what to do... and you hear him mumble of "Oh sh..." Thoughts race through his mind in this 10 seconds that must.seem.like.an.eternity to him. Mean while, about five of us Master's students begin laughing hysterically.... Tears begin flowing down our faces... He determines this is his cue to get up and move... DO SOMETHING... ANYTHING to end this humiliation. My buddy Joe and I laughed for a good 5 minutes after he scampered back to his seat... completely humiliated. Trust me when I tell it was the funniest thing I have seen in a long time. That alone made walking through commencement worth it.

ANYWAY, moving on...

Sunday we went to church (so I could seek forgiveness for laughing cruelly at the guy in the story above) and then afterwards, Sydney surprised me with a reception with all of our friends. It was great. Sydney really did a great job of making this weekend special. I must say that if Sydney wasn't there right beside me, encouraging me every step of the way, then it wouldn't have been as special. Why she ever married me, I will never know... but boy am I thankful. I wouldn't be half the person I am today with out her. Thanks for the great weekend Syd! I Love You!

Photo's are updated.

Friday, May 13, 2005

I am rounding the corner for the 100 yard sprint to the finish line...

It's over. My long road of education is nearing the end. Tomorrow, I am walking through ceremonies to celebrate the closing of 4 years of graduate school. (Although I have one accounting class I will take in the Fall, for all practical purposes... I'm done.) Boy, the leisure time I will have... what will I do with myself?? Oh yeah... how about hanging out with Sydney spending some quantity time..Wrestling with Jake... Maybe go out on some father daughter dates with MacKenzie... my carving projects have been set aside for the last few years... I can start back up with the hobby I enjoy. I was walking up from my carving area in the basement "imagining all the possibilities." Ever thought that tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life? It is for me.

I.Can't.wait.

Sydney, Jakers, Micker Mackers, Bug Bug, baby...I am sprinting as fast as I can.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Quick post on last nights results...

Vonzelle is our pick! (Although Sydney and I discussed it and we feel that Carrie or Bo would be sufficient as the American Idol as well...)



But Vonzelle is our Favorite. (Even though she gleeks...) Who's yours?

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Gold Medal... Here we come!

The Olympic Prelude:

"Don, Don,

Don Don Don Don Don,

Don, Don Don Don,

Don Don Don Don D-Don Don Don Don..."


We are going to compete in the olympics in the sport that our family knows as: "Getting Ready for the Bus." Some may say, "That's not a sport!" But those of us who go through the routine of getting the kids ready for the bus everyday know differently. Especially when dad wakes up at 7:02 and the bus gets there at 7:17. With the speed of a team of bobsledders, Jake (Mom) and I rocked the sled back and forth in the groves as we put our head down and... took off like a shot. Now, like bobsledding there are several key things one must do in sequential order. Just as bobsledders must sprint down the track and then skillfully jump into the bobsled... one must do the same thing as one gets ready to jump on the bus. One must have a plan of attack. Our sequence off events went something like this:

Dad - Go to the bathroom.
Dad - Jump in the shower. Within 3 minutes, Jump out of the shower.
Mom - Wake Jake up.
Mom - Pour Marshmallow Matey's in a bowl.
Jake - Inhale breakfast.
Mom - Go to the bathroom.
Dad - Put t-shirt, underwear and Socks on.
Dad - Shave
Mom - Grab Jake's clothes from his room up stairs
Mom - Grab a snack to put in Jake's backpack for snack time.
Dad - Brush his teeth
Dad - Get clothes on.
Dad - Puts shoes on.
Mom - Tell Jake to GET moving.
Jake - Drop his jammies to the floor and take a whiz ...with the bathroom door open.
Dad - "Go!Go!Go!Go!"
Time: 7:14
ETA of Bus: 7:17

Mom - Quickly brush Jake's Teeth...
Mom - Yank a t-shirt over Jake's head
Mom - Slip a pair of jeans on Jake (With skill and grace... I might add.)
Dad - Grabs Jake's backpack in one motion as he heads for the car.
Mom - Puts Jake's shoes on.
Jake - Dodges buddy as he sprints to the car.
Jake - Jumps in... as the car starts to move backward
Jake and Dad - Park at the end of the driveway as we wait for the bus...
Time: 7:14 (Clocks in the house must be 3 minutes fast.)
ETA of Bus: 7:17

Dad and Jake - "Woo Hoo!" *High Fives* *Secrect cool handshake* "Yeah!"
Mom - Breathe.

We are SO ready for the olympics.

*Oh Say can you see.... By the dawn's early....*

So, what sport are you training for in the Olypmics?

Monday, May 09, 2005

I Say...

KATIE FOR PRESIDENT !!!

Friday, May 06, 2005

"That's the gutsiest move I ever saw Mav."

FINE! I hear you Eddie... loud and clear... "Post about your wrestling story Ben!" Can't quit there... you had to make statements in your posts like: "and Ben puts on his wrestling singlet from college and tries to spontaneously wrestle people on the street." OKAY. Okay... I get the hint... Let me just say this: You are like your Russian friend... bugging me until you get your way... So I give in... (You really need to quit hanging out with him...) j/k

Here goes:

In college I was a wrestler... for one year. My Junior Year to be exact. Now to preface this story, when I was in High School, I ran Cross Country and Track.

I.Was.Awesome.

I was first team all state for my Junior and Senior year of H.S. placing 7th and 6th in the State, respectively. I did not wrestle in High School. Although, I did wrestle in 1st grade... but that was the extent of my wrestling career. When I graduated from H.S. I weighed 117 pounds soaking wet....naked... even when I ate cheetos. This was, of course, a result of the fact that I ran everywhere... I put in about 14 miles a day... 4 miles in the morning... and about 10 miles in the afternoon. Now to remind all of you, I am 5 feet 4 inches tall and in order to do as well as I did in Cross Country, I had to run more then others who had the natural tools... I had to be in better shape. I was.

...But back to my story... (my story is about wrestling). I got recruited to run in college; however, I attended a small State University and in the early 90's, colleges were beginning to retrench and budget cuts were made all over the place. Two weeks before I got to college, they cut the Cross Country team. But, I was registered so I decided to go to that school anyway... thinking if I missed running, I would transfer. (SERIOUSLY, who would miss running? I never liked running... I liked being good at something. I just did it because I was good at it... and when you are good at something... it is fun.... and if things are fun then you like to do it... so um... scratch that... I guess I liked running. But I didn't miss it.... I guess... because I never transferred.) ANYWAY, my freshman year I started to lift weights and I started to gain weight and I was slowly building muscle mass. By my Junior year in college, I eventually got up to 140 pounds and I was fit... looking good. My wrestling career began like this:

I am lifting weights early one morning and my Wrestling coach comes into the weight room and says, "Are you a wrestler?"

Me: *Laughs* Um... No.

Me: *comically says* "I did wrestle in first grade though.... Ha.Ha.Ha."

Coach: "Would you consider Wrestling for us?"

Me: *Eyebrow Raises* "Are you cracked?" *Laughs the suggestion off.*

Coach: "Seriously, we are looking for someone in the lower weight classes and you would be perfect in the 126 pound weight class. Many times, colleges have a difficult time recruiting wrestlers your size and so there are alot of open spots on our opponents' rosters... it would be a way that we could get some easy points... Here's is what we can do... why don't you come out for the team... we will teach you what you need to know... when there is no opponent, you can go out and raise your hand and get the points for the team... if there is an opponent... if you don't feel comfortable wrestling yet... we will forfeit the match."

Me: Um... No. Thanks though...

I can say only this: My wrestling coach was persistent.

SO, I decided to give it a try... the first time I stepped out onto a mat for a match was when I was about 20 years old in college. I was wrestling opponents who had been wresting continuously since Kindergarten. With this said, my college record was 11 wins and 7 losses. Now you are all thinking WOW! Pretty good BEN! YOU.ROCK. To which I must respond, "Hey THANKS! ...ahem... but I am not finished yet..." Of those wins, 11 were forfeits by the other team... and of those 7 losses... I got pinned by my opponent 7 times... 6 of those pins came in the first period. I made it to the second period only once. My whole wrestling career lasted about 11 minutes and some odd seconds. I have a tape of all my matches and all you hear in back ground is my coach shouting, "BRIDGE BEN, BRIDGE!" (For those of you not familiar with wrestling... "bridging" is your last ditch effort to avoid getting pinned. Funny how it never worked for me.) I did make it past the first period one time though... and I scored 2 points for a reversal in that match too... On my wrestling tape in the back ground, you can see my whole team jumping up and down and giving high fives because I scored some points... it was looking good... until I got ankle picked and pinned a few... breif... moments later.

Anyway... You think the story ends here? No way... I couldn't disappoint you.

So I get to the regional tournament on my record of 11 wins and 7 losses and there are 3 guys in my weight class. Right before the match starts... my girlfriend runs out on the mat and says to the announcer... "THAT'S M-I-A-G-I go Karate... (I mean wrestling!)" *Suddenly music starts playing in the background and I hear the words... "You're the BEST aroouund... nothing's gonna get you when you... da da da da... You're the BEST aroouund...* Wait. That was a movie.

So anyway, I wrestle the first guy and I get ankle picked and pinned... then I wrestle the second guy and get ankle picked and pinned... again. BUT, if the third place guy gets beat by the guy who wins the regional tournament, AND that person has already qualified for the National tournament during the season because of his record... THEN the third place guy qualifies for Nationals as well. SO, With a record of 11 wins (by forfeits) and 7 losses (by pins)... and 2 losses in the regional tournament(by pins)... YOURS TRULY BECOMES A NATIONAL QUALIFIER... without ever winning a match in his life... except maybe kindergarten. I chose not to make a mockery out of the system by going to Nationals... BUT, had I gone to nationals, I would have become a National Academic All American because of my grades...

You say you have never met an intelligent wrestler before? Well, meet me... the smartest wrestler you will ever meet... arguably the worst wrestler you will ever meet... but definately the smartest, worst wrestler you will ever meet that was a NATIONAL QUALIFIER.

So there you go Eddie... and all of the rest of my faithful readers... There is my "Wrestling Story."

Without question: I am cool...

*Fades off as "Highway to the danger zone..." plays in the background*

Thursday, May 05, 2005

I am blogless...

I am not in the blogging mood today... I have been in a "funk" the last couple of days...
I have nothing to say.

UPDATE:

At the request of jes...


Wish I was Here

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

A Smorgasbord of posts...

So I don't have a specific topic I am going to blog about... but several... so here goes.

I was in St. Cloud yesterday for a Minnesota International Educators' meeting... Recently our university decided to go away from the state fleet cars and so now we have to use Enterprise rent a car... So on Monday afternoon, I go out to the Enterprise Rent a car place to pick up a vehicle and the first thing they did that I didn't like is that they gave me a Minivan. What? I want something cool... if I am going to be force to rent from you, then I want something with style... but not the case. So I drive to St. Cloud in my "Styling" Nissan Minivan... anyway, I get back to town and we now have to pay for the gas ourselves and then be reimbursed because we no longer have the state credit cards that used to come with the state vehicles... no big deal I guess... I can over look that. Well, I go to fill up the tank and it nozzle clicks off at $16.05 or something like that and I top it off at $16.25 and head out to the Enterprise Rent a car place. I get all the way out to Enterprise and I look at the gas gauge... and it is not full... it is a quarter of a tank from the top. Tick.me.off. So, I have to turn around and go to a different gas station to fill up the remainder of the tank. Needless to say that I am not liking the Enterprise option... it is such an inconvenience...

Anyway, speaking of the MIE meeting... I have been the Treasurer for this Organization for the last couple of years and so, we had the yearly elections and I was running against another person, and I lost. The last 2 years, nobody wanted to do it... so I am glad that I had some competition... People came up to me after the elections and said, "sorry you lost." I am thinking to myself, "that's weird... why would you console me about my loss..." My self worth is not derived from holding the treasurer's position in the MIE organization. I was happy to help when needed, but I am like George Washington, term limits are good... especially when it comes to the treasurer's position. It adds for an accountability factor to keep people in this position on the straight and narrow. (Needless to say, I voted for the other candidate.) ... I am glad I lost... I was elated... It was kind of like dancing naked while eating cheetos. (I am told the sign of a good post is using words like dancing naked and cheetos somewhere in the post...) Anyway, I did a great job and now I am free from the responsibility.

Speaking of George Washingtion... (See how I am transitioning from one thought to the other? Sign of a good blogger... take note people!) I was in the St. Cloud Mall yesterday and I went to a store called Books Revisited, a place where they sell used books... I purchased a book titled, Fishing With the Presidents: An Anecdotal History. Pretty interesting to see how many presidents were fisherman... George Washington was a commercial fisherman. Did you know that? He had a plantation; however, his farm was located on the shores of the Potomic and he had a fishery. Because of his attention to detail his barrels of herring were highly sought after. He did such a great job of preserving them with salt that he rarely had a spoiled herring in the whole barrel. Interesting stuff... I was a history major in undergrad... and I love to fish... so, for me, it is a great read.

Anyway, that's about it...

Oh... like Eddie, I saw an "Ex-girl friend" last night as well... Funny that Sydney invited her over for dinner... Let me tell you... her breasts were tender and boy did they taste good. (You'll have to read his post to get the meaning behind this one.)

(Dancing Naked with Cheetos, and talking about breasts... look out... I should get a relentless number of comments today.)

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

"A Series of Unfortunate Events"

I wake up yesterday morning with a splitting headache.... so I decide that I am going to kick it back and lounge in my bed for JUST a half an hour while the kids are still sleeping when......

Brrrinnnng Brrinnnng....... Brrrinnngg...... Brrinnnggg.....

I am thinking do I answer or don't I .... answer or don't......uughhh Fine!!!! I drag myself across the room to answer the phone..... I mean come on who calls someone at 8:oo in the morning..... okay will maybe most people..... BUT DON"T CALL ME..... I am lazy in the mornings.... .Anyways I finish the phone call, when I hear the pitter patter of little feet coming down the stairs and I groan again... for I know... that my resting half hour with my whopper of a headache is gone.

Since the phone is laying next to me in bed and the kids are up anyways I decide to make a call to one of my friends while lying in my bed.... I reach over, pick up the phone and to my horror, watch slowly ..... Oh so SLOWLY as the monday morning gods have the phone slip from my hand and strike my in my cheek bone right below my eye. I feel the instant swelling begin as the water rushes from my watering eye. My daughter, in her concern smashes her face against it to kiss it sending more rushing pain to my eye. I go to the bathroom, head throbbing, and look in the mirror. My under eye is already turning black and blue. All I can think, is ...... ugh... I hate mondays....

I feed the kids, get them into their clothes when there is a knock on the door. It is my friends mother-in-law coming to collect a crib that is stored up in the attic at our house. So we go up stairs into the bat infested attic and find the crib. The crib is not fully taken apart so I find the appropriate tools and start taking it apart. I start on the last screw, and no matter how much I grunt and groan this screw will not budge. But I am determined to win......

With all my might I push and twist the screw driver. It Turns and the screw driver flies off the screw head and right into the side of my nose! oh that so smarts.....my eyes begin to water again, as I tender grab my nose willing myself not to cry. Now I have a headache, bruised cheek, and bruised/scratched nose. The crib is eventually moved out of the house and I pop some tylenol praying that it will relieve some of my pain. I finish getting ready for my day, feed the kids dinner without any mishaps and my outlook becomes cheerier! I load the kiddo's in the van and head to bible study. I get back home and as I am unloading the kids, I smack my head in the door frame of the van, Leah panics, because she thinks I am going to put her down and grabs my cheek and scratchs it!......

I will say this ends my day of unfortunate events (THANK YOU LORD) but I have to go to the clinic tomarrow and do you really think they will believe me when I tell then that...
"No Doc, my husband doesn't beat me." I drop a phone on my eye, shoved a screw driver into the side of my nose and my daughter scratched my cheek as I bumped my head into the van."

Oh yeah... If you don't here from Ben and I the next couple of months it's because I am in court trying to prove my husband isn't a wife beater.

Oh by the way.... how was your monday?

Monday, May 02, 2005

Only in Minnesota.

So, my Saturday was interesting... I had to Mow the lawn... (especially, the part that was REALLY LONG... because Sydney was unable mow it like she said she was going to... but that is another story.) So, I got out in the 50 degree weather to mow the lawn and as I looked up to the sky... it started to look really ominous... so I started to speed up so I could get the portion of my lawn that really needed to get mowed, mowed. All of a sudden, the sky open up and it began to.... SNOW. That's right, I have now seen everything and am among the few people in the world that can say, "I have mowed my lawn while it was snowing out." And not this "couple of flakes falling from the sky business..." I am talking everywhere I look, big... Accumulating on the ground flakes... (Okay, so maybe they melted rather quickly...) But the point is: I was mowing the lawn while it was snowing. For a moment, I thought I was going to have to shovel my driveway after I finished mowing the lawn.

My only question is: Would something this cool ever happen in TEXAS? I.Think.Not.

So, what is the strangest thing that has happened to you in the last year?