"That's the gutsiest move I ever saw Mav."

FINE! I hear you Eddie... loud and clear... "Post about your wrestling story Ben!" Can't quit there... you had to make statements in your posts like: "and Ben puts on his wrestling singlet from college and tries to spontaneously wrestle people on the street." OKAY. Okay... I get the hint... Let me just say this: You are like your Russian friend... bugging me until you get your way... So I give in... (You really need to quit hanging out with him...) j/k

Here goes:

In college I was a wrestler... for one year. My Junior Year to be exact. Now to preface this story, when I was in High School, I ran Cross Country and Track.

I.Was.Awesome.

I was first team all state for my Junior and Senior year of H.S. placing 7th and 6th in the State, respectively. I did not wrestle in High School. Although, I did wrestle in 1st grade... but that was the extent of my wrestling career. When I graduated from H.S. I weighed 117 pounds soaking wet....naked... even when I ate cheetos. This was, of course, a result of the fact that I ran everywhere... I put in about 14 miles a day... 4 miles in the morning... and about 10 miles in the afternoon. Now to remind all of you, I am 5 feet 4 inches tall and in order to do as well as I did in Cross Country, I had to run more then others who had the natural tools... I had to be in better shape. I was.

...But back to my story... (my story is about wrestling). I got recruited to run in college; however, I attended a small State University and in the early 90's, colleges were beginning to retrench and budget cuts were made all over the place. Two weeks before I got to college, they cut the Cross Country team. But, I was registered so I decided to go to that school anyway... thinking if I missed running, I would transfer. (SERIOUSLY, who would miss running? I never liked running... I liked being good at something. I just did it because I was good at it... and when you are good at something... it is fun.... and if things are fun then you like to do it... so um... scratch that... I guess I liked running. But I didn't miss it.... I guess... because I never transferred.) ANYWAY, my freshman year I started to lift weights and I started to gain weight and I was slowly building muscle mass. By my Junior year in college, I eventually got up to 140 pounds and I was fit... looking good. My wrestling career began like this:

I am lifting weights early one morning and my Wrestling coach comes into the weight room and says, "Are you a wrestler?"

Me: *Laughs* Um... No.

Me: *comically says* "I did wrestle in first grade though.... Ha.Ha.Ha."

Coach: "Would you consider Wrestling for us?"

Me: *Eyebrow Raises* "Are you cracked?" *Laughs the suggestion off.*

Coach: "Seriously, we are looking for someone in the lower weight classes and you would be perfect in the 126 pound weight class. Many times, colleges have a difficult time recruiting wrestlers your size and so there are alot of open spots on our opponents' rosters... it would be a way that we could get some easy points... Here's is what we can do... why don't you come out for the team... we will teach you what you need to know... when there is no opponent, you can go out and raise your hand and get the points for the team... if there is an opponent... if you don't feel comfortable wrestling yet... we will forfeit the match."

Me: Um... No. Thanks though...

I can say only this: My wrestling coach was persistent.

SO, I decided to give it a try... the first time I stepped out onto a mat for a match was when I was about 20 years old in college. I was wrestling opponents who had been wresting continuously since Kindergarten. With this said, my college record was 11 wins and 7 losses. Now you are all thinking WOW! Pretty good BEN! YOU.ROCK. To which I must respond, "Hey THANKS! ...ahem... but I am not finished yet..." Of those wins, 11 were forfeits by the other team... and of those 7 losses... I got pinned by my opponent 7 times... 6 of those pins came in the first period. I made it to the second period only once. My whole wrestling career lasted about 11 minutes and some odd seconds. I have a tape of all my matches and all you hear in back ground is my coach shouting, "BRIDGE BEN, BRIDGE!" (For those of you not familiar with wrestling... "bridging" is your last ditch effort to avoid getting pinned. Funny how it never worked for me.) I did make it past the first period one time though... and I scored 2 points for a reversal in that match too... On my wrestling tape in the back ground, you can see my whole team jumping up and down and giving high fives because I scored some points... it was looking good... until I got ankle picked and pinned a few... breif... moments later.

Anyway... You think the story ends here? No way... I couldn't disappoint you.

So I get to the regional tournament on my record of 11 wins and 7 losses and there are 3 guys in my weight class. Right before the match starts... my girlfriend runs out on the mat and says to the announcer... "THAT'S M-I-A-G-I go Karate... (I mean wrestling!)" *Suddenly music starts playing in the background and I hear the words... "You're the BEST aroouund... nothing's gonna get you when you... da da da da... You're the BEST aroouund...* Wait. That was a movie.

So anyway, I wrestle the first guy and I get ankle picked and pinned... then I wrestle the second guy and get ankle picked and pinned... again. BUT, if the third place guy gets beat by the guy who wins the regional tournament, AND that person has already qualified for the National tournament during the season because of his record... THEN the third place guy qualifies for Nationals as well. SO, With a record of 11 wins (by forfeits) and 7 losses (by pins)... and 2 losses in the regional tournament(by pins)... YOURS TRULY BECOMES A NATIONAL QUALIFIER... without ever winning a match in his life... except maybe kindergarten. I chose not to make a mockery out of the system by going to Nationals... BUT, had I gone to nationals, I would have become a National Academic All American because of my grades...

You say you have never met an intelligent wrestler before? Well, meet me... the smartest wrestler you will ever meet... arguably the worst wrestler you will ever meet... but definately the smartest, worst wrestler you will ever meet that was a NATIONAL QUALIFIER.

So there you go Eddie... and all of the rest of my faithful readers... There is my "Wrestling Story."

Without question: I am cool...

*Fades off as "Highway to the danger zone..." plays in the background*