Brother

I always wanted one.

A big one.

Someone who would teach me how to spit, who would squash spiders for me, who would threaten to beat up the class bully when they pushed me around, who would have really cute friends and bring them over for pizza and I could sit and bat my eyelashes at them and he would try and run me off but if perhaps one of his friends ever asked me out he would threaten them with bodily harm if they treated me badly. I wanted an older brother to drive me around, to be the cool guy at school that I got to talk to in the halls. I wanted the older brother who would mess up my hair and make fun of me but in an instant would be my greatest defender and biggest supporter.

These were the wants of a child.

And then I got older and I realized I wanted a big brother to be that same protector and defender but in a different way. I wanted him to be wise and intelligent and to challenge me because he had gone before me. I wanted him to point out the bumps in the road so I won’t make the same mistakes he did. I wanted him to be comfortable when I laugh at him and comfortable when I cry in front of him. I wanted him to call me to the carpet when I was acting like an idiot and be brutally honest with me but always clothed in love and concern. I wanted him to be excited to share with me the things he learned so that I might learn from them too. I wanted him to give worth to my opinion and know that even though I was younger and not as smart or wise that I was searching out answers all the same and together we might just find the right ones. I wanted a brother who would marry the perfect big sister and would show me the qualities that I would want in my husband. I would want to watch him honor and cherish her, leading by love and with a servant's heart, and being the man of God that would allow him to do those well (and then I would also get a amazing big sis in the process and that would be a special blessing). I wanted him to be a father so I could watch how he instructed and discipled his children, again to know the qualities of the man I would desire to father my children. I wanted him to continue to tease me and to make me laugh, and to never take himself so seriously that he couldn’t admit when he was wrong or needed to grow in an area. I wanted him to be not only my brother but my friend, not just linked by blood but by a friendship that was more “want to” instead of “have to”.

These were the wants of an adult.

And the funny thing is that while I have only sisters by birth, in the last year I’ve been lucky enough to gain a big brother that is all the things I’ve always wanted. He’s funny and goofy, wise and intelligent, a great example of what a godly husband and father should be. He encourages me, he teases me, he teaches me so much about things I thought I knew but realized I needed to know more. He is a man of honor and respect, or integrity and character, of service and love for others.

Instead of being my brother by blood, by genetics, I get to choose him as my brother and my friend.

He is my friend, he is my brother, and his name is Ben.

(Posted by Katie)