My patience has been thoroughly tried.
Thanks for the owners manual John Deere... You might as well have given me a book that says "Congratulations on purchasing your new John Deere... The end."
Between John Deere's lousy manual and my innate retarded tendencies... I semi-successfully serviced my lawn mower over the last couple of days. It took me forever to remove the blades to sharpen them because the bolts were seized... three hours forever... but I won. And then last night I decided to change the oil on the motor. That was my first mistake... what kind of idiotic company puts two drain plugs on the bottom of the block? Kawasaki... that's who. Unfortunately, I am not smart enough to undo the one that has a drain stem attached to it... so 2 quarts of oil all over my shop floor... what a mess. At this point, I told Jake that he "needed to leave the shop because dad was going to get very angry... and that it was not his fault and that he should leave now." So after he scampered out the door, a few choice words and cleaning up the pool of oil, I then decided to unscrew the oil filter and dump oil all over my floor again. Then, after I got this all taken care of... I decided to test drive it... and this was fine; however, when I started the PTO, the belt on my mower deck popped off and BECAUSE I don't have an engineering degree and BECAUSE the owner's manual fails to provide me with the proper information, I can't figure out how to get it back on... and that is where my mower sits right now...
To top it all off, I spent an hour and a half on the internet searching for a LX277 Mower Deck belt diagram and you know what I found? Several other guys without engineering degrees with the same exact question... but as far as I could tell... they couldn't find the answer either.
Hope it doesn't rain anytime soon.
posted by Greg at 11:19 AM
11 Comments:
so uh you hate your mower?
there were a lot of words in this post that I do not know; nor do i understand the specifics of what you are speaking
But I do know this: I can mow a lawn and put together my first lawn mower (it was what my guy friend called a "fisher price lawn mower" but it chopped down the four foot weeds just fine) and I can change a tire (two at the same time in fact)
I say "trade in" and upgrade
11:48 AM
I love that you told Jakers to leave the shop 'cause you were gonna get angry and it wasn't his fault.
I have never been able to find a diagram on the internet when I needed it.
12:36 PM
It took me awhile to find this email, but I thought you'd enjoy it, so here it is...
Oil Change Instructions For Women
>
>1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3,000 miles since the
>last oil change.
>
>2. Drink a cup of coffee.
>
>3. 15 minutes later write a check and leave with a properly maintained
>vehicle.
>Money Spent
>Oil Change $20.00
>Coffee $1.00
>
>Total $21.00
>
>
>Oil Change Instructions For Men
>
>1. Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of
>oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a
>check for $50.00.
>
>2. Stop by 7 - 11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20.00,
>drive home.
>
>3. Open a beer and drink it.
>
>4. Jack car ! up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
>
>5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
>
>6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
>
>7. Place drain pan under engine.
>
>8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
>
>9. Give up and use crescent wrench.
>
>10. Unscrew drain plug.
>
>11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process.
>Cuss.
>
>12. Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms.
>Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
>
>13. Have another beer while watching oil drain.
>
>14. Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
>
>15. Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil
>filter and twist off.
>
>16. Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil
>everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in
>trash can! to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
>
>17. Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil
>change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener.
>
>18. Sunday: Skip church because, "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag
>pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole
>in back yard instead of taking it back to O'Reilly to recycle.
>
>19. Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
>
>20. Beer? No, drank it all yesterday.
>
>21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
>
>22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to
>gasket surface.
>
>23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
>
>24. Remember drain plug from step 11.
>
>25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
>
>26. Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard,
>along with drain plug.
>
>27. Drink beer.
>
>28. Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily
>dirt into hole. Steal sand from kids sandbox to cleverly cover oily
>patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in
lawnmower gas.
>
>29. Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw
>kitty litter on oil spill.
>
>30. Drink beer.
>
>31. Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily
>rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench
>tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.
>
>32. Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.
>
>33. Begin cussing fit.
>
>34. Throw stupid crescent wrench.
>
>35. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December
>(1992) in the left boob.
>
>36. Beer.
>
>37. Clean up hand! s and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood
flow.
>
>38. Beer.
>
>39. Beer.
>
>40. Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
>
>41. Beer.
>
>42. Lower car from jack stands.
>
>43. Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil.
>
>44. Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled
>during steps 23 - 43.
>
>45. Beer.
>
>46. Test drive car.
>
>47. Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
>
>48. Car gets impounded.
>
>49. Call loving wife, make bail.
>
>50. 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.
>
>Money Spent
>
>Parts $50.00
>DUI $2500.00
>Impound fee $75.00
>Bail $1500.00
>Beer $40.00
>
>Total $4165.00 -- But you know the job was done right!
>
>
>
>......................and they say women are stupid?!?!?!?!?
1:15 PM
ape
2:07 PM
baby ape
2:14 PM
Thank heavens hubby is mechanically minded because I would be lost lost lost lost lost! I think that manuals are great fans! I have to learn by doing not reading.
I'm with you Ben I would have been frustrated to my eyeballs!
2:22 PM
Anonymous was Katie everyone... for your fyi... just so you know.
3:59 PM
Maybe a machete is in order?
7:56 PM
Bless your heart!
But I have to agree with AmCol... hehe
7:31 AM
Hahahaha...I'm sorry to laugh at your lawn mower tribulations, but…hahahahaha!!
9:43 AM
I often wonder what it would be like if I were handy??? hummmm...
10:04 AM
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