Mickers is 6!

6!

I am old.

Happy Birthday Mack!

Call from Micker Macker, Ticker Tacker, Jicker Jacker.

Micker Mackers called me this morning with BIG news... After explaining to me that she won a coloring contest at the local Cenex (Gas) Station and that she won "1 free Movie Pass..." She said:

"Dad I WON! I can't believe I ACTUALLY won!"

To be a kid.

MacKenzie is 6 tomorrow... I love her so much.

It is time to call a spade a spade.

Internet... I am fat. At a towering height of 5'4" and weighing 167 pounds... I am sure that I am what the American Medical Association would deem as "obese."

So I decided to do something about it. I joined the health club and I am going to lose weight. I figure that my idea weight is about 140 - 145 lbs... When I was younger, I was running about 14-18 miles a day... I graduated high school at a hefty 117 lbs. I don't want be there... I just don't want to be unhealthy... and right now I feel unhealthy.

So I am doing something about it. I am done "thinking about it." I am done saying I should work out but not doing anything about it.

Before, I wasn't ready. Now I am. And I am determined.

So in short... I have decided to change.

I am all about change.

I am a little tired today...

I was awoken by Sydney at about 4:23 in the morning... she said she thought she heard something "scamper" acrossed the floor in the kids room. So, I tried to get her to discribe in great detail at 4:23 in the morning "What the scampering sounded like." Our conversation went like this:

Sydney: "Ben!" *nudge, nudge*

Ben: "Wha!? Huh?"

Sydney: "I think I just heard something "scamper" across the floor upstairs."

Ben: "Scamper? What did this Scamper sound like?"

Sydney: "I am not sure... it sounded like it was raining on our roof... but the kids room is above us... and I heard it in the living room above my head when I went to see if it was raining."

*Listening* ...Silence...

Ben: "I don't hear anything."

Sydney: "I heard it! It woke me up it was so loud."

Ben: "Are you sure you weren't dreaming?"

Sydney: " I told you I heard it in the living room above my head as well. ....Ben?" *nudge!*

Ben: "Wha?! Huh? ... um... did you check to see if there was anything 'scampering' up there?"

Sydney: "No. I am too chicken."

Ben: "Could be a bat... think it could be a bat?"

Sydney: "It might be... but it was more like a scurry."

Ben: "A scurry? What did the scurry sound like?"

Sydney: "Like something running acrossed the floor... CAN YOU GO CHECK?"

I don' t know why... but for some reason, I found myself "scampering" out of bed and "scurrying" up the stairs. Are you sure it wasn't me you heard Sydney? I still think you were dreaming.

SexBO, Cinecrap and Showtime...

It was a free preview weekend for all of the movie channels... I can't believe how many sex shows are on these channels. I am not sure how any guy can subscribe to these channels and remain pure... I can honestly say that I did not watch any of these shows, but in the same breath, I only had to fight the temptation for one weekend... AND it was hard. I can't imagine trying to fight the temptation every single evening. During the day, it isn't too bad... I watched War of the Worlds and Oceans 12, as well as a few others that really weren't bad at all, but it is crazy what is shown on these channels from 9 pm on... Saturday night, I was tempted to watch... or maybe not watch, but "catch glimpses" ...but before I got to the movie channels, as I was surfing, my remote "happened" to land on the movie "Ben Hur" that was playing on a regular channel. SUCH a great Charelton Heston movie that depicts the Easter Story. I figured that the Lord was giving me a way out, so I left it on this channel, put the remote down and rolled over and went to sleep.

My heart hurts for Jake and Benji as a result of the temptations they are going to have to deal with throughout their lives... for guys in general really. It used to be, when I was growing up, that the only real temptations out there were dirty magazines. And even then, it wasn't too much of a temptation becuase you would either have to walk up to the counter and purchase one of them, or have them land in your mailbox... For me, the embarassment alone kept me on the straight and narrow. Now, pornography is wide spread on the internent and movie channels... as a guy in this day and age, it is hard to fight the temptations... but if it is this bad now, I can't imagine what it will be like when Jake and Benji are my age.

I pray not only for my sons, but for myself. That we can remain strong, that we will keep our eyes locked on Him, and that the Lord will give us an extra dose of self control. I would be lying to you if I didn't tell you that I am tempted EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. I have victories, but I also fail at times... But I am praying that as I look to Him on a daily basis that I am able to have the Fruits of the Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Gentleness, Kindness, Faithfulness, Goodness and Self Control.

Every day, I pray specifically for Self Control. Not just for me... but for my boys.

TTOW!!

The Hippies Won!

How cool is that?

Internet, I am dying... I don't have much longer to live.

Okay, maybe I am being a little mellow dramatic... but, I feel stressed. I swear I am going to die of a heart attack by age 35. So, this gives me a little over a year and a half to live. Just thought I would warn you now, while preparing myself for the inevitable.

Finances are going to be the death of me. I feel like they are never going in the right direction... Seems like we should be better off than we are... but it is simply not the case.

It's hard to describe, but when I get stressed, I feel a tightness through my chest. Not shooting pains or anything and my arm is not numb so I am not having a heart attack... but I am working on one... I am sure of it. Oh well, when it does come... it will happen quickly and I won't have to worry about finances anymore... so there IS a positive side to it.

I know we are not supposed to worry... but I can't help it. Call it a lack of trust, call it what you will... but when finances aren't where they should be... I worry. And it's my fault. I need to handle my money better than I do... but it's a fault. A hate finances so much... if I could just walk away from bills and finances... I would in a "heartbeat."

So there you have it. I am dying... send your "Get well soon" cards now, before it is too late. Preferably, send cards with money in them... this will delay the prognosis.

Mello Yello, Moutain Dew, Rhubarb and Asparagus

I like Mountain Dew...

and Mello Yellow...

(Tangent: Remember when Mello Yellow had the TV ads in the 80's which sang: "They call it Mello Yellow...?" That's all that I can remember about the ad... so here I sit approximately 20 years later trying to figure out WHY they call it Mello Yellow. )

ANYWAY... I didn't like Mello Yellow or Mountain Dew until about 2 years ago... Funny that I would go 31 years of my life not liking something and then "suddenly" I like it. And this wasn't a case of never trying it... I remember tasting it when I was younger. I recall shivering and then having the thought, "That's Nasty."

Do Taste buds change as you get older and suddenly you like things? Have your tastes changed? Same thing happened to me with rhubarb. But I think that is because my mom used to cook rhubarb pie by cutting up the stalks and putting them in a pie crust and calling it rhubarb pie... it was nasty because you were chewing on these stalks of rhubarb that were hard and stringy and you felt like you were eating celery pie or something... and when those strings would hit the back of your throat... you would gag... It had a similar affect as eating asparagus stalks that were over cooked or under cooked... I don't know which it was. (I remember sitting at the table being forced to eat my asparagus. Remember the movie "River Runs Through It?" The little kid being forced to sit at the table all afternoon...? Yep that was me.) ANYWAY, I like rhubarb now... I tried it a couple of years ago after Sydney made Rhubarb cake and it was great.

I don't like asparagus but Mello Yellow, Mountain Dew, and Rhubarb... Yeah... those are good.

Also... Why DO they call it Mello Yellow?

I admit it... I have McPheever.

So Sydney was all mad that Chris is gone... she takes things like this personal... not really sure why... but she said, "First it was Mandeesa and now it is Chris... I HATE this show."

And... I like Chris too... he was awesome... really good...

But then... She has been my favorite:

You knew she wasn't leaving because she had all the guys out there that think she is a "honey" ...voting for her. Besides that, I told Sydney, "You didn't vote, so you can't be too mad... He probably only lost by one vote. It's your fault that he is gone." She just rolled her eyes and said, "whatever." She would have smacked me but I was on the couch and she was acrossed the room... so HA!

It died.

Out with the old:

In with the new:

Yesterday our van died... so we bought a new one. So... it both sucks to be us and it is good to be us both at the same time. We owned our last van outright... so it was old, but it was ours... this new (used) van is very nice and VERY classy, but we don't own it... we have payments.

So... Mixed feelings.

Disclaimer: Neither of the above vehicles are ours. Like the eagle picture, this serves as only a representative of the van we used to have verses the van we just purchaced yesterday... Our old van was a piece of crap and looked much older than the van represented in the first picture. AND I have no idea where that hill is in the picture of the new van.

My name is Ben...

...and I am addicted to gadgets.

I love gadgets. Gadgets define who I am. I have been suckered into buying things because I can not resist another gadget. For example, this last weekend, I bought another bird feeder for the yard. Now I could have purchased a regular, plain old bird feeder, but I didn’t. I was drawn in like a monkey to a shiny object, to this "particular" bird feeder... I bought "The solar powered that turns into a lantern at night," bird feeder. On Sunday night, after being exposed to the sun for 8 hours, I kept checking to see if it would turn on... I was getting disappointed because it was dusk and it was not turning on... and then suddenly; VIOLA! I was jumping up and down... it was like Christmas when I was a little kid.

Anyway, this particular bird feeder hangs out side our bedroom window... so Sydney and I were laying on the bed looking at this bird feeder with lights on it... with NO birds on it, and I said, “ I wonder if birds even eat at night? I bet I go suckered in to buying this bird feeder that lights up and birds don’t even eat at night.” Sydney just looked at me, laughed, rolled her eyes and shook her head. Her response was something like, “Imagine you... purchasing a useless gadget?” I could almost hear the sarcasm in her voice... but I am not sure... because I was too mesmerized by the lights on my NEW SOLAR POWERED BIRD FEEDER THAT LIGHTS UP!

How cool is that anyway?

My Monday...

... can be summed up with:

Leah peeing her pants at the park over the noon hour.... and
Jake taking a leak on an evergreen tree in the middle of the same, busy, city park... for all the world to see with not a care in the world...

Until Dad catches him in the act, that is.

Grrrrr......

Something that I have always known... but, for some reason, has only REALLY become apparent recently...

My wife is Amazing.

Why God blessed me with Sydney is just crazy. So UNWORTHY of such a gem. I just shake my head everytime I think about it. All I can humbly say is this:

I am thankful he did.

I am all for sports... but... seriously?

So... my yesterday afternoon was consumed by "Championship Darts."

Wheeee.

Not by choice mind you... That there is even such a sport (let alone fans) is mind boggling. What kind of lonely, desolate life must one have to be a fan of "Championship Darts?" And that you would make a sign for your favorite dart thrower is just wrong on so many different levels...

Wives of dart throwers sitting on the edge of their seats, wringing their hands like the world hangs in the balance...

After the perfect throw, the fat, sweaty dart thrower raises his hands as though he has somehow just accomplished something that is of worth...

A zoomed in, slow motion replay of a dart not quite making the mark... and then crashing to the floor. The dashed hopes that that misfire represents!

AND THEN, as if this somehow were not enough to make you laugh already:

A post championship interview with the victor.

These were just a few of the many forgettable moments of my afternoon yesterday. The tickets weren't cheap to watch this "once in a lifetime sporting event" either... $500 and a few hours later, my alternator was replaced and I was back on the road.

Don't you wish you were me?

Is Hacky Sack a professional sport?

Well... I am back. Did you miss me?

Friday, I took the day off and went to a youth conference with the youthgroup at our church. It was a weekend full spiritual guidance and 3 hack wack. 3 hack wack is a game of Hacky Sack and I must say that I am nothing short of impressive. I am actually relatively impressed that teens these days still like Hacky Sack. Who knew that the Lord was training me for youth all of those years in the 80's when I was playing Hacky Sack. Kids like me because I am a big goofball ...and who can't relate to someone who likes to have fun? That said, I also can make sure that I am serious at the appropriate times and keep them on the straight and narrow. Balanced would be a good word.

I am the head youth leader at our church, so I go to the conferences when they come up. It is always fun to be able to influence teens. I think the thing I enjoy most about leading youth is that you get a chance to see kids mature... not just maturing from an personality standpoint but maturing in their faith. It has been both a blessing and an encouragement for to me to see these young men and women of God move from having a faith that has been instilled by their parents to claiming it as their own. Choosing to follow the Lord because they believe it. Not just because this is what their parents believe. Pretty exciting really. And then when they come up to you and say, "Ben, I would like you to meet my wife." ... Yeah... When this happens... I have both a feeling of excitement for them and a feeling that I am OLD...

Ultimately, I think it has been fun to see how being faithful to God's calling has affected students' lives.

I give God all the Glory and am both humbled and thankful that He chooses to use me... in spite of my faults.